Stretching the old blog muscle.....
I’ve been seeing this http://mic.com/articles/123051/why-millennials-dont-want-kids
in different places for the past couple of days. I’d just like to offer a soft rebuttal. Not looking to debate, but it’s in my nature
to urge people to examine things from all sides…..so here goes.
#1. Kids aren’t always financially feasible – especially if you have student loans.
I’m pretty sure a whole lot of us would have never been conceived if proof of income and a credit score were required. I’m positive we wouldn’t have passed until our late forties. So, SORRY KIDS, you weren’t born with even a stainless steel spoon in your mouths! <>
But a recycled spook can still deliver the real “goods”.
#2. There’s a strong fear of passing down mental health issues.
I get this – I have several relatives who chose to remain childless for this reason. I took the other route and wanted to prove that I could do a better job than my parents had done. It was rough at times, more difficult than I’d expected. Sure we experienced some traumas – together! And I can say without hesitation that had I not had my children, my traumas would’ve been horribly lonely, come upon me sooner and I would NOT be here today. PERIOD.
#3. The population is already out of control.
Population rates have been falling for generations and there are more than enough resources to sustain the number we have now. The “0 pop” people are fear-mongering, propaganda-spreading, politicos playing on fears. They’ve also helped fuel the abortion industry that has proudly exterminated the equivalent of America’s 50 largest cities AND, we learn now, profited off of it more ways than one.
#4. Fertility issues can give a different perspective on the necessity of having kids.
You better believe it can. It makes you realize even more that a child IS a gift from God and with all the skills and abilities He has allowed man to develop, it STILL does not happen until He SAYS it happens. I could share miracle after miracle!
Now, if you choose not to pursue those difficult and costly methods and accept not bearing a child of your own, that is certainly fine. For every miracle birth I could report, I can also report people those avenues did not work for or were out of their reach. And my heart aches for the mother who longs to carry a child and can’t.
On that note, I beseech you to find a way to share the nurturing love you feel on those who needed it. To withdraw into yourself can lead to an overgrowth of bitterness that is not healthy for you or the people who love you.
#5. Pregnancy can take a serious physical toll.
Hey, nothing good ever comes easily. But its always worth it in the end. Everybody is different and each pregnancy is different. I’m not going to lie – it’s a spin of the wheel and you don’t know what you’re going to get. But if it were as utterly debilitatingly painful and disgustingly gross as we’re lead to believe, no one would endure it more than once.
#6. With kids comes the pressure to make perfect choices.
Now hold on just a minute. If you’re old enough to be in this discussion you’re old enough to realize that the pursuit “perfection” is unrealistic in ANY endeavor! You already know demanding people who expect too much – bosses, professors, teachers, coaches, maybe even your parents or grandparents!! You have to step back from the edge and take a deep breath.
By the time I had my first child I had come to two conclusions: 1. I didn’t want to do anything the way my mother had done it. 2. I’d turned out pretty well in spite of things. So I concluded that if I did at least as good a job as she did, but made sure my children knew each and every day that I loved them!! Then they’d have to turn out at least as good as me. With the help of My Mr. and God, I can assure you we knocked it out of the park all four times!!!
#7. Not all women are preprogrammed with maternal instincts.
Pretty much wrong! Some women have an abundance of it. I can remember giving a little cousin that my mother babysat his bottle while she took the phone….I was about 4. I grew up with a kid on my lap at church. Worked in Sunday School and bus ministry. Started babysitting for pay by about 12. And always knew I wanted exactly four kids, two boys and two girls! <>
But I learned very early on that even the most non-maternal women could become totally awesome moms once their brains got flooded with the right cocktail of hormones. There’s one – its my favorite – Oxytocin. It kicks in after birth and continues for months and months if you’re lactating! I remember reading somewhere that they did some research and injected this hormone into fighting roosters and they became mellow enough to actually sit on a nest, hatch baby chicks and then mother them like hens. POTENT STUFF!!! So don’t worry if you’re not feeling it ahead of time – chances your brain chemistry will kick in and do fine.
P.S. Nobody EVER likes/tolerates/loves other kids as much as they do their own.
#8. The world isn’t always a nice place.
No, it’s not. And if nobody ever did anything about it, it will only continue to decline at a rapid pace. Thirty years ago as I began to try to get pregnant with my third child, everyone seemed hell bent on talking me out of it. “You have the perfect American family!! (a boy AND a girl, by then) Why would you want more than that?” and numerous similar comments. It was when a minister said to me, “This would is such an evil place, why would you want to subject a child to that?”
I tho’t about it a minute and said, “I believe I can raise lights in this dark world!”
And we did!
#9. Sometimes, career ambitions take priority. And #10. Children don’t fit into every lifestyle.
I, personally, don’t have a lot to say about this. From age 5 on my own career goal was to be a wife and mother. I’d established myself as both by age 18.5. Had my 4th child at 27 and was a grandmother at 36. I'd say I was extremely successful at what I set out to do!
Of course, since about 30 years of age, I’ve played with a lot of ideas of what I’d like to be when I grow up. And still have not come up with a concrete answer. I’m just busy living life and spending as much time as I can with these 12 AMAZING individuals who share DNA with My Mr. and I. Enjoying the adults as friends now, just as much or maybe more than I enjoyed them as children. Watching them select partners and build lives and bear children. There’s ups and downs and drama and unforeseen trials.
And I can’t imagine my life without any of them.
#11. Ultimately, a reason shouldn’t even be
necessary.#1. Kids aren’t always financially feasible – especially if you have student loans.
I’m pretty sure a whole lot of us would have never been conceived if proof of income and a credit score were required. I’m positive we wouldn’t have passed until our late forties. So, SORRY KIDS, you weren’t born with even a stainless steel spoon in your mouths! <
#2. There’s a strong fear of passing down mental health issues.
I get this – I have several relatives who chose to remain childless for this reason. I took the other route and wanted to prove that I could do a better job than my parents had done. It was rough at times, more difficult than I’d expected. Sure we experienced some traumas – together! And I can say without hesitation that had I not had my children, my traumas would’ve been horribly lonely, come upon me sooner and I would NOT be here today. PERIOD.
#3. The population is already out of control.
Population rates have been falling for generations and there are more than enough resources to sustain the number we have now. The “0 pop” people are fear-mongering, propaganda-spreading, politicos playing on fears. They’ve also helped fuel the abortion industry that has proudly exterminated the equivalent of America’s 50 largest cities AND, we learn now, profited off of it more ways than one.
#4. Fertility issues can give a different perspective on the necessity of having kids.
You better believe it can. It makes you realize even more that a child IS a gift from God and with all the skills and abilities He has allowed man to develop, it STILL does not happen until He SAYS it happens. I could share miracle after miracle!
Now, if you choose not to pursue those difficult and costly methods and accept not bearing a child of your own, that is certainly fine. For every miracle birth I could report, I can also report people those avenues did not work for or were out of their reach. And my heart aches for the mother who longs to carry a child and can’t.
On that note, I beseech you to find a way to share the nurturing love you feel on those who needed it. To withdraw into yourself can lead to an overgrowth of bitterness that is not healthy for you or the people who love you.
#5. Pregnancy can take a serious physical toll.
Hey, nothing good ever comes easily. But its always worth it in the end. Everybody is different and each pregnancy is different. I’m not going to lie – it’s a spin of the wheel and you don’t know what you’re going to get. But if it were as utterly debilitatingly painful and disgustingly gross as we’re lead to believe, no one would endure it more than once.
#6. With kids comes the pressure to make perfect choices.
Now hold on just a minute. If you’re old enough to be in this discussion you’re old enough to realize that the pursuit “perfection” is unrealistic in ANY endeavor! You already know demanding people who expect too much – bosses, professors, teachers, coaches, maybe even your parents or grandparents!! You have to step back from the edge and take a deep breath.
By the time I had my first child I had come to two conclusions: 1. I didn’t want to do anything the way my mother had done it. 2. I’d turned out pretty well in spite of things. So I concluded that if I did at least as good a job as she did, but made sure my children knew each and every day that I loved them!! Then they’d have to turn out at least as good as me. With the help of My Mr. and God, I can assure you we knocked it out of the park all four times!!!
#7. Not all women are preprogrammed with maternal instincts.
Pretty much wrong! Some women have an abundance of it. I can remember giving a little cousin that my mother babysat his bottle while she took the phone….I was about 4. I grew up with a kid on my lap at church. Worked in Sunday School and bus ministry. Started babysitting for pay by about 12. And always knew I wanted exactly four kids, two boys and two girls! <
But I learned very early on that even the most non-maternal women could become totally awesome moms once their brains got flooded with the right cocktail of hormones. There’s one – its my favorite – Oxytocin. It kicks in after birth and continues for months and months if you’re lactating! I remember reading somewhere that they did some research and injected this hormone into fighting roosters and they became mellow enough to actually sit on a nest, hatch baby chicks and then mother them like hens. POTENT STUFF!!! So don’t worry if you’re not feeling it ahead of time – chances your brain chemistry will kick in and do fine.
P.S. Nobody EVER likes/tolerates/loves other kids as much as they do their own.
#8. The world isn’t always a nice place.
No, it’s not. And if nobody ever did anything about it, it will only continue to decline at a rapid pace. Thirty years ago as I began to try to get pregnant with my third child, everyone seemed hell bent on talking me out of it. “You have the perfect American family!! (a boy AND a girl, by then) Why would you want more than that?” and numerous similar comments. It was when a minister said to me, “This would is such an evil place, why would you want to subject a child to that?”
I tho’t about it a minute and said, “I believe I can raise lights in this dark world!”
And we did!
#9. Sometimes, career ambitions take priority. And #10. Children don’t fit into every lifestyle.
I, personally, don’t have a lot to say about this. From age 5 on my own career goal was to be a wife and mother. I’d established myself as both by age 18.5. Had my 4th child at 27 and was a grandmother at 36. I'd say I was extremely successful at what I set out to do!
Of course, since about 30 years of age, I’ve played with a lot of ideas of what I’d like to be when I grow up. And still have not come up with a concrete answer. I’m just busy living life and spending as much time as I can with these 12 AMAZING individuals who share DNA with My Mr. and I. Enjoying the adults as friends now, just as much or maybe more than I enjoyed them as children. Watching them select partners and build lives and bear children. There’s ups and downs and drama and unforeseen trials.
And I can’t imagine my life without any of them.
Exactly! I agree, but you’re still going to have to have one if only for yourself!
Now, I know everyone is different. People are certainly entitled to make their own choices. My choices would have been a poor fit on a lot of people, and vice versa. But I didn’t write this for those people. I wrote it for the ones who are still in the thinking process. I wanted them to perhaps see another side of some of these bullet points and consider ALL their options with a fuller view.
If you’ve made it this far, thanks for hanging in there.
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