Nana Renanalogies

A few weeks ago, my Snopes .com newsletter offered the following: (I've provided two links, one or the other should get you there.) Click here: snopes .com: Dolores Aguilar Obituary http://www.snopes.com/media/iftrue/obituary.asp I read it and naturally tho't , "How sad." And it made me remember my own mother and wonder about Dolores Aguilar. Since yesterday would have been my mother's 83rd birthday and tomorrow would have been her 62 nd wedding anniversary, today seems like a good day to blog. My mother was complex. But I guess we all are. To quote Bro. Tyler Walea , 'I object to the term 'dysfunctional' to refer to people or families, because it implies that somewhere, someone is fully functional." That is true. We are all 'dysfunctional' by SOMEONE'S standards, and that is what makes us normal, I suspect. I frequently recommend the movie "The Joy Luck Club" to people. Women, especially!, can probably 'get it...

RAMBLE ALERT: Several things have happened this week to have mothers/parenting/adolescents/etc. on my mind...so here goes... PUBERTY: Its a state of being that's not fully human. A s a psychiatrist on a talk show put it - "If we were to chemically recreate puberty in a shot or a pill and give it to middle-aged people they would be jumping off of buildings and driving off of bridges because they could not handle what was occurring in their brains and bodies." We know that the human brain is not finished developing until age 25. That is when the brain maxes out its growth potential -- all the little connections that were ever going to happen have happened. The last part of it to develop is the frontal-lobe. There is where the ability to consider long-term consequences of immediate actions resides. As an adult you need to make a left hand turn onto a busy street... While you are looking both ways you aren't just thinking "Can I make it?" ...

If you've been keeping up with my blogs, you know by now that I am well aware that I talk a good game, but struggle to really compete. I THINK I know what's going on and can elucidate ad na useum whether I know much about it or not. A few weeks back I blogged about my best friend, Cheryl, and how she likes to clean out closets. I've just had the pleasure of having her and her husband in my home for a few, (too few!) short (too short!) days. I got to see AGAIN, up close and personal, how clean she is. She's got a lot more "Martha" in her than I do. (Martha Stewart or Mary and Lazarus' sister, Martha, in the New Testament -- take your pick.) She's the one to get things done -- tidying up behind her as she goes. A few days before my guests arrived, I discovered a video online: Liz McComb performing at a Jazz Festival in Vienna in 2002. The song is A Big Mess. The words go something like this.... " I cleaned up the outside of my house, but...

Ever have one of those days (or weeks, or months!!) when you're on edge and cranky and you don't know the exact reason(s)? Finally someone -- usually my inconveniently long-suffering husband! -- asks, "What's wrong?" There it is -- you're meant to verbalize what you can't even comprehend. My pat answer is "EVERYTHING!!!!!....and nuthin'." :-( Ten kizillion things are annoying the daylights out of me -- and yet not ONE of them "amounts to a hill of beans" as my mother would have said. Now in truth, I'm no dummy. I am the FIRST to recognize that I am blessed beyond measure. Good health, awesome husband, wonderful kids, delightful friends, happenin' church and most of all -- the Love and Friendship of my Creator!! I KNOW how fortunate I am and I do try to be grateful to Him with worship and thanksgiving every day. But that doesn't mean things don't pester and aggravate. And despite what SOME PEOPLE might think (are...

It's my BIRTHDAY!! Yesterday was Independence Day! My GrandDoll , Daughter-in-law, Sister and one of my daughter's all have birthdays this month! Never been to Michigan before, but expect to go there a few days in August. Mike and I are going on our SECOND cruise in 3 months! My first trip ANYWHERE North & East of Knoxville!! NYC. Boston. Nova Scotia . Martha's Vineyard!! I LOVE the holidays -- Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, Valentine's Day! Ladies Conferences in the Spring!! ....the list goes ON and ON and ON. Sometimes I seem to be living from one EVENT to the next. Proof in point -- my oldest daughter got married two weeks ago. A simple affair -- casual, on the beach. It still took a considerable amount of planning and preparation. Some might call it trouble -- not me! I LOVE the thrill of the anticipation. No matter how tight the budget got. How frustrating the preparations got (as in having to remake half the bridal gown two nights before the weddi...

I'm a little surprised with myself that I haven't blogged more about my weight-loss journey. Still not sure WHY I haven't. And not at all sure that I won't in the future. It could just be that I'm in a state of semi-denial and am afraid to say too much for fear I'll jinx it or something. No -- that's not it. I trust in the Lord and don't believe in 'jinxes'. Anyhow, I felt it necessary to at least mark this occasion. I have now, officially crossed the halfway mark in my journey. In just a little over 10 months I have lost half the weight I set out to lose -- to date a total of 86 lbs. I now I have 85 remaining that need to go. I'm dreadfully realistic in that I know the last half will be infinitely harder to get off than the first half. But, if I never lost another pound, I am immensely grateful to God and my surgeon and his staff and all my friends and family who have been so supportive! I feel better than I have in decades -- truly! ...

I have lots of blog-able tho'ts running in my head, but neither the time or energy to commit them to the Internet tonight. However, as the last few minutes of this day tick away, I have to commemorate the date. Twenty-nine years ago today I became Mrs. Michael Lynn Hargrove. It is the most fortuitous event of my life outside of my relationship with my God. I love my children dearly, but not even their births altered my life's course as dramatically as marrying the handsome, blue-eyed, blonde boy who would become their father. He was - and is - and will forever be - The Love Of My Life. Since June IS the month for brides and much is on my mind.... my oldest daughter was married yesterday my youngest daughter is bouncing around ideas a best friend's daughter called today asking me to make her wedding dress another dear friend called tonight to announce her engagement .....expect more matrimonially themed blogs before the month is out. Until then, I love you, Baby!

(Note: This is an excellent 'climate' for blogging, since I have 50 bazillion OTHER things I should be doing!!) I think it was Dick Clark who said "Music is the soundtrack of our lives." So I'll give him the credit until I learn otherwise. My friend, Mitchell, made me think of this when he recently announced he had FINALLY added a Play List to his MySpace page...something about HAVIN' CHURCH!! I feel that way about MY Play List on MY MySpace page. Last night I caught myself singing in the shower. Not a common occurance. I love music and I love to sing (what most would classify as 'make a joyful noise' - emphasis on NOISE!) but I'm just not a break into song kinda gal like some folks. My mother, Ruby, seemed to always be singing while she worked. My GrandDoll, Sloane, is a living muisical. She will randomly burst into song -- she will sing her request for a specific breakfast cereal! But my singing needs prompting or accompaniment like worshipping ...

Mike is always quoting someone -- and probably paraphrasing at that -- "Each person's perception is their reality." I was thinking about my Granny and realized that something I'd tho't all my life, may have been anything but true...but I'll get to that later. (Here I am with my Granny, Rosa Ella Sharp Jones, at MY house, around 1965.) My mother's parents lived about 12 miles out in the country from my childhood home. The trip to their house was truly an "over the river and thru the woods" sort of journey although a lot of the "woods" were actually "company pasture" owned by the local paper mill and the "river" was one little creek and gully after another. Still, it was a great ride. Daddy knew where every little "thrill hill" was and just how much to speed up before you hit it so the backseat passengers -- usually just me -- felt that little stomach flip. Oh, and when I was older I often got to make the r...

I've had a very dear and precious friend in my life for TWENTY-FIVE years. Cheryl has been closer than a sister, another mother to my children -- a constant in whatever wave of chaos or pit of despair I have found myself in. **hold on, gotta grab a Kleenex** Okay.... We are vastly different in a lot of ways, yet completely simpatico in others -- therefore, we make a great pair. A team. We're both (IMHO) a healthy mixture of Martha and Mary. We love our homes and family and church -- so tending to what needs to be done is no grave duty. But, we also value friendship and fellowship and special moments that are over in a blink -- so we know the importance of letting those duties WAIT while we savor the moments. We've tested the theory and have scientifically proven time and again that dust bunnies THRIVE on neglect. One long held "tradition" that has become inseparable in my mind is "Cleaning Out Closets with Cheryl". I'm serious -- it's a f...

I found this quote a while back, it really spoke to me and I used it in my siggies for a while. Unfortunately, some people would tell me "I don't get it." It's been going over and over in my mind today, so I guess I need to share it. "FORGIVENESS is.................... 'letting go of a better past' ." I guess it spoke to me because I once had a therapist tell me that I was 'grieving for the childhood I THO'T I should have had'. And she was right -- I was VERY hung up on recounting the atrocities to anyone who would listen, even if I had to PAY them to listen! My parents weren't terrible. They tried their best and made some mistakes -- just as I have done in my job of parenting. There were just some things I tho't needed to have been better. But y'know what...? They're ancient history now. (Okay, not THAT ancient!) Dwelling on them in the present would steal a lot of today's joy. And who among us has SO MUCH JOY in thei...

I've been deeply troubled lately because various and assorted people I care for deeply are having some seriously and serial relationship 'issues'. Every couple is different, every scenario unique. But ultimately, however BIG they seem at the time, they are microscopic in comparison to how big our God is. My husband and I were discussing it today as I was repeatedly called and texted by one soul who was having a particularly rough day. We vowed to agree in prayer and really seek the Throne of God over this individual and the circumstances in which she finds herself. Mike mentioned that he was listening to Rev. Ed Young on the radio the other day and he was saying -- and I paraphrase Mike's paraphrase, my apologies to Ed! -- If you're having problems in your marriage, on your job, with your children, with your neighbors, etc. I can tell you what is the root of your problem....SELFISHNESS. HOW TRUE IS THAT!!?!!!! Think about it.....have you ever had one single pro...

I am SO clever. I know this. Even if people didn't line up to tell me, I'd instinctively just KNOW it. (That bulge in my cheek is just my tongue, okay, nothing serious.) And, to further PROVE to me how smart I am, God lets me get into situations where I THINK I have Him all figured out and KNOW what it is He is doing in my life. Okay -- this is where the sarcasm falls away and I must confess.... I am SO wrong, SO often, that I should be ashamed to even spend a nanosecond thinking about what He might be up to! But I just can't help it. It's in my nature -- He made me this way! I'm too analytical for my own good sometimes. In fact, it's caused us (me and Him!) no small amount of anguish along our journey together. So I DO try to not think it all over too much. But, like a lot of my other carnal tendencies, I fail more often than not. But, undaunted, I don't take it personally -- instead I prefer to think that He is greatly amused to watch me try to figure thi...